Upon taking over the United States of America, my first order of business will be to give it a proper name. I realize that our forefathers were somewhat busy and distracted at the time of our founding, but really. Introducing yourself with a ten-syllable description would induce suspicion of mental illness in most situations. "Hello, have we met? I'm the self-righteous, sarcastic IT geek. No no, that's my given name."
Which gives rise to another problem -- our country's lack of a name gives its inhabitants a lack of a label. Sure, we say that we are American, but at the end of the day we're no more American than Bolivians. Proudly declaring that you live in the western hemisphere just isn't specific enough by today's standards.
I'm presently taking suggestions on a name. Right now it's a toss up between Disneyland and India.
