Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Manufacture an alien conspiracy

I was raised to believe that all people are created equal. I was brought up thinking that as my generation rose to power, we would usher in racial and sexual equality. (Or at least equal opportunity.) I thought that our culture was infected with bigotry and that education and awareness would "cure" it. While that might be true to a very small degree, over the years I came to realize now how naive that hope was.

People need hatred. One of their greatest desires is to feel like they belong to a tribe, and in order for that to mean anything, their tribe has to be exclusive. Rather than go on a Tyler Durden-esque rant to try and convince the citizenry that they are not special, I will fabricate the existence of a hostile alien race.

I can only imagine the unprecedented level of camaraderie that will be experienced in the wake of the country learning that we have big scary aliens to fear and hate. Haters will go from seeing those damn border jumpers trying to steal our hard-earned welfare as friendly and relatable. Because they belong to the same tribe.

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